MB Civic

This is quite a funny skit on the way our dear leader, Tony, is frequently wont to address us, his grateful subjects, regarding his continual quest to improve our wellbeing.
Al B

Simon Carr: You may mock, but Nanny knows best
Published: 06 September 2006

Some people turn and walk by on the other side. I see injustice and I have to act. I will not turn away. I will intervene; because I can, I must. It is my right, therefore it is my responsibility.

Some people choose not to understand how children’s lives were being ruined. Children killed, maimed, mutilated in horrific traffic accidents. Of course we legislated. Laws won’t do everything, but we do what we can. Because we can, we have to.

People criticise. People mock. That is their right in our diverse society. We take the mockery because it is a small burden to carry when the prize is saving children’s lives.

These in-car restraint systems are now compulsory for children under 145cm sitting in the rear seat for any habitual or non-spontaneous car journey (to be determined by the officer attending the crime scene). Whatever satire that can be applied to this measure, I say that the system will save the lives of a measurable number of children a year. But only if the restraints are compulsory. We ask people to give up a little liberty because even one child’s life is worth it.

Parents have a duty not just to other parents in setting an example, but to the taxpayer. Treating horrific injuries comes out of the public purse. It is the responsibility of every parent to ensure the maximum safety for their children – and for the children of every other parent. Our collective duty is to keep ourselves and our family in an good physical and emotional condition because otherwise eccentrics will take an unfair proportion of public funds to treat their self-inflicted conditions and innocent children who need those resources even more will die as a result.

To be clinically obese, to smoke, to indulge in too much alcohol, to knowingly tolerate an abnormal cholesterol level, to engage in sado-masochistic sex, to ride a bicycle without a helmet, to work too hard, to injure yourself while training or playing a contact sport is a self-indulgent appropriation of public money that might otherwise go to saving children’s lives.

Antisocial behaviour is not private when it has public consequences. So we will be looking at legislation. Because even if you don’t have an accident yourself, you encourage others into behaviours that inevitably will require hospital treatment. And that takes money away from dying children who could otherwise be saved. How many children’s lives do you want on your conscience with your selfish, antisocial lifestyle?

Some say, “Be complacent. Ignore it. It’s life.” I’m sorry, I can’t do that. I can change these things. And because I can, I have to. And if children’s lives are important, how much more important are their souls? The world’s sacred texts agree: “Thou shalt not come to the Father except through me.” And more plainly: “Thou shalt not permit an infidel to live.”

Children who are brought up among heretics will, as a result of their parents’ behaviour, suffer the worst fate imaginable. They will go to hell. They will be impaled on a spit and roasted over a fire for eternity, the skin peeling off their screaming faces in an eternity of escalating pain.

How can we turn away from that? How can we cross to the other side and ignore those children’s fate? Because I can do something about it. And because I am able, I am obliged. I can, so I have to.

So, when you retire to your bomb shelters, for the sake of your children, please observe the Health and Safety regulations with more than usual care.