[Mb-civic] Escape into Canada

[richard haase]

im a liberal bastard too
the other richard h
  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: Rhaerther at aol.com 
  To: mb-civic at islandemail.com 
  Sent: Thursday, December 02, 2004 6:11 PM
  Subject: [Mb-civic] Escape into Canada


  This is a great laugh, especially as I consider myself one of those liberal commie bastards that would only ruin the country if we were put into power..

  Richard H
  > 
  > American's Sneaking into Canada? Canada busy sending back Bush-dodgers. 
  > 
  > The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has 
  > intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the 
  > illegal immigration. 
  > 
  > The re-election of President Bush is prompting the exodus among left-leaning 
  > citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray and agree with Bill 
  > O'Reilly. 
  > 
  > Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology 
  > professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at 
  > night. 
  > 
  > "I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer 
  > huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage 
  > borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. "He asked 
  > me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't 
  > have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?" 
  > 
  > In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but 
  > the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush 
  > Limbaugh across the fields. 
  > 
  > "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through, and Rush 
  > annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk." 
  > 
  > Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near 
  > the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across 
  > the border and leave them to fend for themselves. "A lot of these people are 
  > not prepared for rugged conditions" an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found 
  > one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa 
  > Valley cabernet, though." 
  > 
  > When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing 
  > loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been 
  > circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in 
  > which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR. 
  > 
  > In the days since the election, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious 
  > ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on 
  > bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a 
  > half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration 
  > authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen 
  > passengers. 
  > 
  > "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get 
  > suspicious about their age," an official said. 
  > 
  > Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an 
  > organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies. 
  > 
  > "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't 
  > support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one 
  > country need?" 
  > 
  > In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice 
  > President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the 
  > administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to Cheney 
  > said. "We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put 
  > some endangered species on postage stamps. The president is determined to 
  > reach out." 
  > 
  > By Joe Blundo who is a Columbus Dispatch columnist in the morning edition on 
  > Nov. 16, 2004 
  >


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