[Mb-civic] Escape into Canada

[Rhaerther at aol.com]

This is a great laugh, especially as I consider myself one of those  liberal 
commie bastards that would only ruin the country if we were put into  power..
 
Richard H
>  

> American's Sneaking into Canada? Canada busy sending back  Bush-dodgers.  

>  

> The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into  Canada has  

> intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased  patrols to stop 
the  

> illegal immigration.  

>  

> The re-election of President Bush is prompting the exodus among  
left-leaning  

> citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray and  agree with 
Bill  

> O'Reilly.  

>  

> Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of  sociology  

> professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing  their fields 
at  

> night.  

>  

> "I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a  Hollywood 
producer  

> huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose  acreage  

> borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and  hungry. "He 
asked  

> me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I  said I 
didn't  

> have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my  screenplay, 
eh?"  

>  

> In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected  higher fences, 
but  

> the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that  blare Rush  

> Limbaugh across the fields.  

>  

> "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through,  and Rush  

> annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk."  

>  

> Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet  liberals 
near  

> the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive  them 
across  

> the border and leave them to fend for themselves. "A lot of  these people 
are  

> not prepared for rugged conditions" an Ontario border patrolman  said. "I 
found  

> one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a  nice little 
Napa  

> Valley cabernet, though."  

>  

> When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border,  often 
wailing  

> loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors  have been  

> circulating about the Bush administration establishing  re-education camps 
in  

> which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch  NASCAR.  

>  

> In the days since the election, liberals have turned to  
sometimes-ingenious  

> ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior  citizens 
on  

> bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After  catching a  

> half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian  immigration  

> authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed  senior-citizen  

> passengers.  

>  

> "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence  Welk Show, we 
get  

> suspicious about their age," an official said.  

>  

> Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants  are creating 
an  

> organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan  Sarandon movies.  

>  

> "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy  just can't  

> support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history  majors does 
one  

> country need?"  

>  

> In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and  Canada, Vice  

> President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and  pledged that 
the  

> administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source  close to 
Cheney  

> said. "We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts.  And we might 
put  

> some endangered species on postage stamps. The president is  determined to  

> reach out."  

>  

> By Joe Blundo who is a Columbus Dispatch columnist in the  morning edition 
on  

> Nov. 16, 2004  

>
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