MB Civic

Here you are – some light relief after my last posting.
Al Baraka

Miles Kington: Captain Haddock and the second Mrs de Winter

Tintin had not thought about Manderley for many a long year, scene of one of their most exciting adventures

Published: 24 May 2007

I was just gearing myself up to do something about Daphne du Maurier’s centenary when news came in that it was also the centenary of the birth of Hergé, the creator of Tintin. Well, life is too short to do every centenary, one by one.

“I bet you can’t guess where I dreamt I was last night!” said Captain Haddock.

“Last night?” said Thomson.

“Dreamt?” said Thompson.

“I too had a dream last night,” said Professor Calculus. “In my dream I dreamt that I was Professor Calculus!”

“But you are Professor Calculus!” said Tintin, and Snowy barked his agreement.

“So I am!” said the Professor. “Well, well! That proves that there can be truth in dreams after all.”

“Blistering barnacles!” said Captain Haddock. “I was try- ing to tell you about my dream!”

“So you were,” said Tintin. “Carry on.”

“Last night I dreamt I was back at Manderley,” grumbled Haddock.

“In Burma?” said Thompson.

“The Burmese town?” said Thomson.

“No, no, battling braces, no!” said Haddock. “I mean the house where we had the Adventure of the Second Mrs de Winter!”

Tintin had not thought about Manderley for many a long year, scene of one of their most exciting adventures. It had come shortly after they had successfully recovered that treasure from Frenchman’s Creek. Then they had had a terse message: “MANDERLEY BURNT DOWN. SUSPECT FOUL PLAY. COME QUICKLY. REGARDS, THOMSON. PS, ALSO THOMPSON.”

“That was the place where that strange couple lived,” said Captain Haddock. “They were called… Phosphorescent fish pies – what was their name??”

“They were called de Winter,” said Tintin. “He was called Maxim, but we never found out what his wife was called.”

“Mrs de Winter?” suggested Professor Calculus.

“Treasonous typhoons!” thundered Captain Haddock. “Of course she was called Mrs de Winter! That is what wives are called! But don’t forget that he had been married before and there had been a previous wife! And she had been called Mrs de Winter as well! Some people have no imagination.”

“There was a housekeeper as well,” said Tintin. “She was called Mrs Danvers.”

Snowy growled. He remembered her. He had not liked her at all.

“I remember becoming suspicious of Mrs Danvers as soon as we got there,” said Tintin. “When we asked her what she knew about the house burning down, all she said was: ‘This would never have happened in Mrs de Winter’s day…’ ”

“Thank goodness there was a scientist present,” said Professor Calculus. “While you lot were wasting time chasing silly clues, I was using all my scientific knowledge in analysing the cause of the destruction of the house.”

“And what did you decide, Professor?”

“That it had been burnt down.”

“Nincompoops!” roared Captain Haddock. “I am surrounded by nincompoops and addlepates! Talking of which, what were the Thomson twins doing meanwhile?”

“At Manderley?” said Thompson.

“Precisely, at Manderley,” said Thomson.

“We went out in a boat,” said Thompson.

“Looking for clues.”

“But the boat started to sink.”

“And we had to be rescued.”

“That’s it!” said Tintin. “I’d forgotten that! When we brought the half drowned Thomson twins ashore, it triggered off something in Mr de Winter’s mind, and he confessed to everything. He’d killed Mrs de Winter.”

“Who was still alive,” said Professor Calculus.

“Not that one!” said Haddock. “Trigonometric treetops! Not her – the first Mrs de Winter!”

“So who did actually burn down Manderley?” said Tintin.

“We never found out,” grumbled Haddock. “By that time we were off on our next adventure. Battling with the wreckers at Jamaica Inn. Malevolent megaliths! They were a scurvy crew.”

“Scurvy,” agreed Thompson.

“Crew,” chimed in Thomson.