MB Civic

David Brooks:  Yes, yes, for the good of all of us.  Kos is the evil kingpin who will destroy the world.

Hannibal:  I thought he was a marginal blunderbuss.

David Brooks:  That was yesterday.  Now he’s got a book deal, and he was on Russert, and he doesn’t like this guy – who is like the best guy in the world – Joe Lieberman.  I mean he’s the real McCoy there and Kos is so mean to him.  We have to stop him or the kingpin will destroy society as I know it.

Hannibal:  And you want me to tell you how?

David Brooks:  Yeah, I mean you were great with that Bobo thing, you got me in the Times.

Hannibal:  Well you will have to give me something in return Clarice – I mean David.

David Brooks:  I only have one more kidney.  Hey, you can have half my wife’s liver if you give me a really good idea..

Hannibal:  No, no David, nothing like that.  Besides you give me indigestion.  No, if you want my help you have to tell me about the lambs.

David Brooks:  The lambs?  What are you talking about.

Hannibal:  The lambs.  You know what I’m talking about.  The ones that you knew growing up.

David Brooks:  I can’t speak about it, no I can’t.  It is too much for me.

Hannibal:  Then you will have to come up with your own ideas David.  Unless you can come up with somebody a little more tasty than you, a little easier to go down – and don’t offer Bill O’Reilly any more, I have a feeling he will give me heartburn.

David Brooks:  You can’t do this to me.  How am I going to come up with any ideas?

Hannibal:  I’m sorry David.  Tell me about the lambs.

David Brooks:  The lambs, the lambs, they are everywhere, always.

Hannibal:  What do they do David?

David Brooks:  They follow…they follow the evil one, do whatever he says.  They follow him like they are nothing.

Hannibal:  Then why are you afraid of them David?  If they are simply followers why do you show such fear.

David Brooks:  They are also rabid.  And they are cruel and full of venom, going after anything that moves.

Hannibal:  But if they are followers David, how can they be full of venom.  Please explain this to me.

David Brooks:  They are outside of my window at night.  They go baaaa, baaaa, we are coming to get you David Brooks.

Hannibal:  Do they really say that David.  Be honest, or I will not tell you how to destroy Kos.

David Brooks:  All right, you monster!!!  They say we are coming to get you Clarice Brooks.

Hannibal:  Ooohhh, it sounds very dangerous.

David Brooks:  They are an army I tell you, an army come to drag me down, come to drag down my wonderful lifestyle, take away my column where I can write anything I want I don’t have to face any consequences.  They want to take this from me, those rabid, venomous lambs!!

Hannibal:  But how could they be rabid and venomous and followers and nothings at the same time.  You must explain this to me David.

David Brooks:  They just are, they just are, can’t you understand.  I am afraid.  I wake up at night and I am wet.  And it’s not the good kind of wet, let me tell you.

Hannibal:  And tell me David, why do you think these lambs want to get you so much.

David Brooks:  I don’t know, I don’t know.

Hannibal:  Tell me David, tell me now.

David Brooks:  Because I am bad.  Because I am a writer who really doesn’t know how to write.  Because I follow the orders of Karl Rove because that will get me on television.  Because I pretend to be sensible when actually I am the rabid right winger, I am a wolf in lambs clothing.

Hannibal:  So it is you David who are actually the vicious, venomous lamb.

David Brooks:  Yes, yes, but you can’t say anything, you can’t.  I am so ashamed.

Hannibal:  Just between us David, and the other half of your wife’s liver.

David Brooks:  But my column, what should I write about Kos?

Hannibal:  Ah David, I think you already know.