MB Civic

By Samara Klein and Daniel Klein | August 18, 2006 | The Boston Globe

TO: ALL PERSONNEL

From: President and CEO, Acme Books Inc.

Re: Stealing intellectual property

With the recent flurry of plagiarism suits in our industry, our lawyers have advised us to be extremely vigilant in all communications any time, any place, any where.TM 1 What you assume is your own inspirationTM 2 — your own witty and trenchant prose — may be somebody else’s pure genius.TM 3 Stop. Think.TM 4 Be sure you are not inadvertently stealing someone else’s brilliant intellectual property — we’re sure you see what we mean.TM 5

It’s good to talkTM 6 with your authors first. In fact, it starts here.TM 7 Explain to them it’s a small wonderTM 8 how many trademarked words and phrases exist out there. They need to think different,TM 9 to think outside the box.TM 10 In short, they need to thinkTM 11 in absolutely pureTM 12 language.

Interoffice memos may appear to be a whole different animal,TM 13 but the same trademark infringement rules apply. It is not sufficient to thinkTM 14 one instinctively knows when something is rightTM 15 — always research your phrase first. There are thousands of possibilities. Get yoursTM 16 right! Just do it!TM 17 It’s that easy!TM 18

At business meetings and conferences, not only is it important to make yourself heard,TM 19 but it is equally important to never followTM 20 a trademark-strewn path. InventTM 21 original locutions! Jazz it upTM 22 with words nobody else has trademarked. Aim high!TM 23 Give it the old va-va-voom!TM 24

Even water-cooler chitchat is fraught with peril: the innocent-looking woman next to you may moonlight for the US Patent and Trademark Office. Ask yourself, Does she or doesn’t sheTM 25 answer to a higher authority?TM 26

Trademarked expressions are everywhere you want to be.TM 27 You may be thinking, “Impossible. Is nothingTM 28 sacred?” But let’s face it, in a litigious society you can’t always have it your way.TM 29 You may live in your world, but play in oursTM 30 by the rules.

We realize these adjustments may be difficult, but stay calm — relaxationTM 31 is our keyword. (To this end, you may want to join our TMTM 32 workshop.)

Let’s make things better.TM 33 Avoid litigation. And smile!TM 34

Note: When duplication is unavoidable, always footnote your sources! Our new motto is: When in doubt, attribute!TM 35

1 Martini, Inc.
2 Airwick
3 Guinness
4 Tylenol
5 Canon
6 British Telecom
7 Molson
8 Volkswagen
9 Apple
10 Apple
11 IBM
12 Cadbury
13 Frontier Airlines
14 IBM
15 Croft Original Sherry
16 Best Buy
17 Nike
18 Staples
19 Ericsson
20 Audi
21 Hewlett-Packard
22 Zatarain’s
23 US Air Force
24 Clairol
25 Renault
26 Hebrew National
27 Visa
28 Adidas
29 Burger King
30 Sony
31 Airwick
32 Transcendental Meditation — Maharishi Vedic Education Development Corp.
33 Philips
34 McDonald’s
35 pending

Samara Klein works in the subsidiary and foreign rights department at Harry N. Abrams Inc. Daniel Klein, her father, is co-author with Thomas Cathcart of “Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar — How Jokes Explain Philosophy” to be published in 2007 by Harry N. Abrams Inc.