[Mb-hair] FW: Imponderable thoughts [OT]

Sean Courtney dauber at banana-and-louie.org
Fri Jan 28 15:01:52 PST 2005

Quoting sherwin <sherwin at aceross.com>:

> 1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little
> bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

Naaah, I never wondered about that. What I DID wonder about, though, is why it
has an expiration date! So near the beginning of my brief radio career, I
called the Evian toll-free number that's on the bottle to ask why there's an
expiration date...on WATER. And the guy I got was actually very
gregarious...even after I told him I was recording him for a radio
bit...apparently in many states there's a law that anything sold as a food
product has to have an expiration date, so they just put an arbitrary one on
there to comply.

And the guy flat-out admitted that all they do is go down to the spring and just
put the water directly in the bottles....they don't filter it, process it or

> 6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland
> called Holes?

Because they'd have to be called "Holls," duh. :)

> 8.. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

And what's the opposite of "disgruntled"??  "Gruntled"???

> 13. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Heh...just imagine if they merged with Guaranteed Overnight Delivery -- the
folks with "GOD" on the side of the truck...

> 18. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we
> supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the
> postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

Hmmm.....Seinfeld, IIRC.

And of course, let's not forget these timeless classics:

Why does "monosyllabic" have so many syllables?

Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

Why is it a "shipment" if it goes by car or truck but it's "cargo" if it goes by

Where can you park at a fire hydrant factory? Or the Special Olympics?

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