[Mb-civic] What To Do Upon Realizing You Actually Live In Hell

[Cheeseburger]

What To Do Upon Realizing You Actually Live In Hell



1.  Unseal you and your family from the hall in your house.  Carefully roll 
up the duct tape and plastic sheeting and store it in your garage.  We were 
just joking.

2.  Try to remain calm.  Although everything you see around you is part of 
the particular script from Hell that you are individually and collectively 
living, don't just run down the street screaming "We live in Hell..!!!!" 
upon realizing this information.  It will upset the neighbors and the 
authorities, both of which have weapons.

3.  Go to the supermarket and buy all the fruit you can.  You are going to 
need something akin to a natural citric acid high to get through this even 
mildly.

4.  Stop consuming all the rubbish you can ingest in your stomach.  Purify 
your body as best you can.  If you are going to live in Hell you might as 
have a superiorly working vehicle to tool around in.  Consuming any form of 
"rubbish" only alters your perception of the reality surrounding you, which 
is not necessarily healthful in safety matters.

5.  Throw your televisions and radios outside in the trash except for 
referencing and to see Hell making its various presentations for comparison 
purposes against actual reality.

6.  Stripsearch every Moonie you can find.  Such acts will ease your mind.

7.  If possible go outside and help someone with something they need help 
with.  This will not only aid your cardiovascular system but will also 
serve as a reminder of the vastness of the misery that inundates this world 
and which by your own simple action can be somewhat alleviated even in the 
depths of Hell itself.  Giving money to a hooker for her education does not 
count.

8.  Laugh at other people who tell you to laugh at yourself.  They are 
idiots.  They either don't know where they live or do and don't wish to 
think about it nor have you think about it either.  They will think you are 
agreeing with them.

9.  God and the Devil are two brothers sitting in a bar somewhere in the 
shadows drinking and laughing their asses off at us all.  Shoot them the 
finger now and then, that will bring you not only courage in the face of 
fatality, but will show them that you realize they are both jerkoffs for 
letting the devastation of suffering embrace the entire planet.  Be 
prepared for reprisals for your act.

10.  Say your prayers anyway, it couldn't hurt, one of them might sober up 
enough to have mercy for a millisecond.

11.  Tear down all churches, mosques, temples, etc.  Dismantle them piece 
by piece, sell them, and give the proceeds to the really needy instead of 
satellite systems, brunches, travel expenses, indoctrination facilities, 
and office overhead.  Put up tents and let people have some real old time 
religion which used to mean something while standing on the dirt floor.

12.  Learn to dance well.  Everyone loves someone who can dance well, 
especially the hierarchy in Hell.

13.  Stop wearing underwear and bras.  Nobody in the days of Jesus, Buddha, 
etc wore them and nobody talked about them after church services.

14.  Forget about reorganizing the governments and corporations of the 
world to actually serve the people and the planet and minimize and 
eliminate misery.  They are Hell's galley slaves and will kill you in an 
instant if you approach them with anything other than that that already is.

15.  Free yourself.  If you cannot free yourself, you cannot free anything 
else.

16.  Write to Hell Central and demand changes to the script now and 
then.  This not only reminds them that death, destruction, misery, and 
darkness does not yet constantly control every facet of existence in Hell 
completely, but gives you practice to stand up to the little league umpire 
who calls his obviously out son sliding into home safe.  You can write to 
Hell Central at The Congress Of The United States Of America, Washington 
D.C., America, USA, Hell.

17.  Try to remember that the tobacco industry is the largest government 
sponsored murder organization across the entire planet and that more people 
die from cigarette related causes each year than just about all other 
causes combined.  [Or something like that...  :) ]

18.  If you cannot get past Number 1 above, forget the rest, do lots of 
drugs, drink lots of booze, fuck a lot, have lots of babies, watch lots of 
television etc, enjoy yourself, you're in Hell, how many times do you think 
you'll get the chance to enjoy this again.  Let the good times roll.



Cheeseburger

- Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce, special orders don't upset us.


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