[Mb-civic] Iraq Olympic Soccer Team Beats Australia: 1 to 0

[Cheeseburger]

Iraq Olympic Soccer Team Beats Australia:  1 to 0

http://www.newsday.com/news/nationworld/world/wire/sns-ap-iraq-soccer-celebrations,0,496007.story?coll=sns-ap-world-headlines


Reached with this news, the following people commented:


George W. Bush:  "Fuck yeah, we won again...!!"

Cheney:  "Those fuckin Mid-East gooks..."

Rove:  "Perfect.  Now if I can only use this somehow, we'd be off scot free..."

Rice:  "This could be a plot, sir..."

Wolfowitz:  "I say we attack Australia *now*, Mr. President..."

Feith:  "I wanna be yer dog....!!  Aaaoooooo...!!"

The Pope:  "Yes, yes I do smoke hashish...  Only for medicinal purposes 
though..."

Halliburton:  "Yes, we own the Iraqi Soccer Olympic Team.  We're just now 
working out the kinks in next year's merchandising deal.  Can you hold the 
line a second, there's some guy who looks a lot like Cheney jumping up and 
down out in the hall telling me to shut up and waving million dollars bills 
at me...  This won't take a sec...  Thanks..."   Click.  "beep beep beep 
beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep....  If you would like to make 
a call, please hang up, check the number, and dial your call again..."


Ah, well...  It was going good there for a second, hehe.....

What a strange news story it is, though.


Achmed and Lablaf sit in an Iraqi tent and discuss it:


"11,000 dead and counting..."

"Yeah, I know..."

"The place is a mess, Saddam is gone, but the U.S. Imperialists are 
everywhere shooting anything that moves, torture is everywhere, prison 
gulag is everywhere, phony prime minister, our country's a shambles, people 
are terrified, death hangs in the air like camel rot lodged between your 
teeth..."

"Yeah, I know..."

"The horror is so vast, people are giving up hope..."

"Yeah, I know..."

"But we might win an olympic medal..."

"Yeah, you're right..."

"Wanna go shoot off the guns and yell some...?"

"Ehh.....  I dunno..."

"It could be fun..."

"Yeah, but who knows who the fuck is out there..."

"Yeah, you're right..."

"But then again, I'm tired of watching the lamp flickering...  Let's go..."

"Ok...."

"Ok....."

"You first..."

"No, you first....."

"No, no, I insist....."

"We'll go together..."

"Ok...."


Bang..!!   Bang...!!


And thus the life ebbed from their eyes, ending Achmed's and Lablaf's 
dreams of both an olympic medal and watching the future of the New Free 
Iraq blossom and grow with each passing day...


And now back to more important news.

http://www.reuters.com/financeMarketReportArticle.jhtml;jsessionid=X23IWX0DRTXQ4CRBAEKSFEY?type=usMktRpt

Investors will watch for oil news from Russia and Iraq this week, but 
skepticism that crude prices will stay sky-high is growing and a break in 
the energy market would fuel a rally in the U.S. stock market.

But volume should stay light, with investors reluctant to put money in the 
market ahead of the Republican National Convention, which begins in New 
York on Aug. 30. U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft has said the gathering 
to launch President George W. Bush's re-election bid and other summer 
events would be "attractive" targets for al Qaeda.

===

I always loved that girl......

http://www.leoslyrics.com/listlyrics.php;jsessionid=29D05EC6B297C4CDA8B3088DB9BC65F7?hid=s4E7EOqOMrQ%3D



Cheeseburger

- Where has the sparrow gone now that I need its song.